Classic Fundamentals
What classifies a toy as Classic? If we find a sex toy that has put in its time and earned its keep as well designed to serve a fundamental sexual purpose, is an easy to use product you can count on in the long term, and is gimmick free, we plunk it into our Classic category. After all, isn’t reliably scratching a predictable itch the fundamentals of fun? If a certain form of stimulation is a fundamental part of your sexual repertoire, chances are you’ll find the right tool for that job here.
A few common attributes: (1) Basic switches, easily available alkaline battery or household power sources, and just enough design to get the job done. The no frills or excess approach is easy on the budget and offers a good place to start and, if more than satisfied, a good place to stay. Its mechanical mechanisms might not be newly inventive in that the technology is old school. Like a mechanical watch in comparison to a widget on your desk top, this is tried and true technology, reliable and well tested, not cutting edge and in need of a specialized power source or ongoing upgrades. (2) It might have a vintage air and make you smile ‘cause you’ve seen it somewhere in the past! Many people come into the store, look at the coil models and exclaim, "My grandmother had one of these!" Well guess what, it wasn’t just for her sore neck. (3) It successfully tackles fundamental sexual stimulation like your bread and butter, your 501s, your flannel pjs ... you just feel good about how they function and pleased to recommend them to a friend. They are a good fit and fit good! (4) Good quality, functional and at the very least has a nice personality and charm that mellows with age. There may be a number of ways to provide fundamental stimulation but if it’s going to be a Classic it should be a long-term solution. When you find a toy that works, not only do you not want to fix what ain’t broke, you shouldn’t need to worry and fret that a toy will break just when you start to get where you want to go!
Classics include toys designed with such fundamental purposes in mind as to provide clitoral stimulation which is unobtrusive during play with your partner, to pair clitoral stimulation with stroking of the vaginal walls and a vibrating penetrative option, to apply strokes of pressure along the G-spot, to bridge the divide during missionary sex, and to cover the fundamentals of “Ye Ole Clit” stimulation from beginning to end. These toys generally hail from reputable sex toy makers in Japan, North America, or Europe and/or reputable companies that produce small home appliances. All have been around as long or longer than we have, and are no less for wear (just like us!). Reputable makers translate to very solid units with relatively quiet operation and, in most cases, intense vibration. If power is what you’re after, the small home appliances have got it. Who knows, you may find room for one of each option - stalwart appliance and retro design - in your toy collection.
Many have generous warranties against defects in manufacture and/or replaceable motors for long-term value. The small appliance models often have a one-year manufacturer’s warranty. Silicone components routinely are warranted for one to five years. The dimensions given are for the body or framework of the vibe.