Shopping Cart

Why take a seminar on sexual self-esteem for women?

Participating in this e-learning seminar is a sex positive choice, which will help you strengthen your sexual self-esteem. Our level of sexual self-esteem plays a key role in the way we relate to others and more importantly, the way we relate to ourselves. No one ever has to tell us that sex is important. A trip to the corner store or any major grocery chain tells us, in no uncertain terms, that sex is important. References to sexuality are everywhere. The proliferation of information in magazines and books, on regular and cable television and on the Internet suggests that sex is complicated. Personal experience and instinct tells us that sex can be a bonding experience for all, for just one person or for no one at all. Sex can be confusing, pleasurable, fun and often hurtful. Sex can create a high and bring with it a dark and deep low. It all just depends doesn’t it? And one of the things sex really depends on is our sexual self-esteem.

Have you ever asked yourself “How can I have a more conscious connection with my own sexuality, more sexual enjoyment, deeper emotional connections with my current partner or a future partner?” The answer can be found by increasing your sexual self-esteem. But building and maintaining high sexual self-esteem is not easy for women. The media, families, religion, cultural influences, past sexual experiences (be they wanted or unwanted) all play an enormous direct and indirect role in the way women feel, think and act sexually. Try as we might, it is difficult to free ourselves from other people’s opinions about our sexual choices. Sexual relationships are always starting and many come to a quick and painless end.

Unfortunately, many more end in painful ways while others keep ticking on in spite of being painful. Many adults were hurt in their childhoods, while others were hurt as young or older adults. We hurt same sex partners and we hurt opposite sex partners. Sometimes we are the hurt ones and sometimes we hurt others. Sex heals, sex inspires, and sex can be boring or exciting. Emotionally sex can hurt before, during and especially after. A way to protect yourself and to have sex that is not hurtful is to deepen, broaden and strengthen your own sexual self-esteem.

Like shopping at Womyns'Ware, either in person or from our website, we anticipate that you will find our online seminar comfortable, empowering, thought provoking and an enjoyable experience. We would be pleased to have you join us for either our six or our nine-session seminar.

Who would take an online seminar?

Any woman. Older and younger women. Women with partners, women without partners. Women who are sexually active and women who are not. Women who are tired of sex and women who want to enjoy sex more. Women who want to enjoy their own bodies more and women who want to enjoy their partner’s bodies more. Women with lots of experience who may be feeling somewhat jaded, and women with less experience who are curious. Tall women and short women; thin women and heavy women. Heterosexual, bisexual, transgendered and lesbian women. Women who identify with a distinct culture, religious or spiritual group. Women who see themselves as a bit shy. Women who have been hurt by sex in some way and women who regret having hurt others. Women who want to grow and know more about their sexual identity. Women who are parents and want to understand and teach healthy sexual self-esteem to their children. Rural women who may not have access to a community- based seminar, and urban women who can’t find a seminar like the one offered here. Women who simply prefer to take a web-based seminar. Women who are tired of chat rooms. Women wanting to communicate with other women in a structured and educational seminar that is moderated by an experienced counsellor. Women who see the benefit of coming together versus remaining isolated. Women who enjoy trying something new; in this case e-learning, and, as I said, any woman.

Hide Answer

What would I gain from taking a 6 or 9-session session seminar?

• Higher sexual self-esteem.

• An opportunity to heal some old wounds, changing some hurtful ways you may be thinking about your own or your partner’s sexuality.

• More confidence in asking for what you really want and knowing what you genuinely want to give.

• More general passion for life and expressing your own sexuality; not someone else’s version of your sexuality.

• An awareness of what contributes to high sexual self-esteem and how to recognize it in you and in current and future partners.

• A new perspective on your past, present and future sexual choices.

• An increased ability to accurately identify a sexual problem and create real solutions.

• A good experience - educational and fun!

•  Value for the time you spend and the money you spend.

Who is the Instructor/Moderator?

My name is Elaine S. Stoll, B.A., RTC., and I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor, and I live and work in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. I have been employed in the counselling field since 1979. Prior to establishing my private practice, Westside Counselling & Consulting in June 1989, I worked for ten years within our provincial and federal prison systems. My clients included both men and women serving lengthy prison sentences as well as their families.

I provide professional development workshops throughout the province of British Columbia as well as therapeutic services. I work with couples, individual women and men as well as adolescents. A delightful part of my job is my work with teen Moms who, with their babies, have returned to high school.

Some of the topics on which I counsel and facilitate groups include the following: sexuality; anger and conflict management; partner/family violence; thriving and surviving abusive childhoods; addictions and recovery; assertiveness; children and teens' self-esteem; coping with stress; parenting skills for survivors of abuse and other parenting themes; depression; making changes; coping with loss; motivation; problem solving skills; Lifeskills (pre-employment programs). In my training and consulting work, I am contracted monthly to provide professional development workshops, staff training and consulting for various agencies and colleges. The training reaches people working in a wide variety of jobs in the helping professions. I teach communication skills, problem solving within the helping role, how to focus on client strengths, how to work effectively with those we label ‘difficult’, setting limits and boundaries, anger management and Choice Theory. I also provide training using the parenting manual I have developed called Breaking the Cycle ©.

In addition, I work as an Instructor and as an Advanced Practicum supervisor with an eighteen-month counselling training program in Choice Theory through The William Glasser Institute, Los Angeles. I also receive requests to present training workshops at various conferences and conventions, both within Canada and the USA. My own training in the counselling field and my workshop presentations has taken me to many locations in North America.

What I enjoy most about being self-employed is that it frees me to work on my new ideas. Besides this new online seminar, I am also working with several counselling agencies on what I have come to call ‘yet another good idea’! Wish me luck. You may visit my website at www.westsidecounselling.com.

How did the Instructor/Moderator come up with this idea?

Once upon a time, I was reading an article on sex positive businesses and discovered a resource list at the end of the article. I was delighted to see that Womyns’Ware was right here in Vancouver. So I drove over to browse through Womyns’Ware. I purchased an item or two, spoke with the staff and left very much impressed. As a counsellor who provides seminars co-sponsored by various agencies in my community, I began to notice there were no sex positive seminars for women. While there were ones that focused on women survivors of sexual abuse, assertiveness training and there were lots on building self-esteem, but there were none that focused directly on helping women build and maintain high sexual self-esteem. So it was a good idea for me to offer community-based seminars on sexual self-esteem and healing for women.

As I planned the agenda, taking into consideration my training as a counsellor, my beliefs about women and women’s sexuality and my own life experiences, I thought about bringing in a guest speaker for one of the sessions. But whom should I invite and what would they talk about? Then Womyns’Ware floated back into my mind. My personal research about Womyns’Ware had shown me that we shared similar beliefs about women and sexuality (click on the Philosophy). So a second good idea was born; I would take the women on a field trip to Womyns’Ware. This began my working relationship with Womyns’Ware. Six years latter, our fieldtrip is still an important component and a popular highlight of the seminar. Womyns’Ware opens one evening just for us. The owners give a very informative lecture, later we wander around asking questions and looking at the products. Afterwards, we go for coffee and discuss what we learned. These positive experiences, a similar philosophy, plus my knowledge of e-learning, led me to approach Womyns’Ware with my third good idea - let’s offer an online seminar to all the women out there in virtual reality. And now here we are and here you are.

What about online privacy and confidentiality?

As much as anything can be completely guaranteed in the community or on the web, we can assure you that every step has been taken to provide privacy and confidentiality. However, individually you too will play a role in ensuring these for both yourself and current and future participants. We all can maintain privacy and confidentially on three fronts: before and after you take the seminar and once you are within the virtual ‘classroom’. This is what you will be asked to do and not to do once you are enrolled in a seminar.

• Online you actually have more privacy and confidentially than you would taking community-based seminars. In our ‘classroom’ we use only screen names. Other students will have no identifying details with which to locate you outside of our ‘classroom’. Private e-mail address and real names are used only initially to communicate with Womyns’Ware, the Instructor/Moderator and to create your individual access account on the educational website.

• Screen names are used within the ‘classroom’.

• Unique, time sensitive, passwords are given to each participant only after payment and start dates are confirmed.

• Directions to the educational website and how to locate the seminars are only given to participants after fees are paid and start dates confirmed. We ask that you not disclose this information. Complying with this request will assist us all in maintaining privacy and confidentially while taking our online seminar.

• All communication with seminar participants takes place only within the education website. There you have your own mailbox. Thus, no participant can communicate with you outside of our virtual ’classroom’.

• Privacy and confidentiality within the seminar is similar to a community-based seminar, workshop or class. Group rules will facilitate respect and ensure that everyone feels free to ask questions, answer and post honest reflections on topics under discussion.

• Once you have completed one of our seminars, please feel free to tell your friends about Womyns’Ware and our great seminars and direct them to this website. You can even purchase a seminar for a gift.

How do I take an online seminar?

You take online educational seminars from websites that have been developed for just this purpose. Online education has been taking place for several years and it is easier than you might think. E-learning is so popular that you can now take a high school diploma, a university or technical degrees online. The site that will be used for our seminars is used worldwide for e-learning. The site is built in a very straightforward way. The tools you use are clearly marked, easy to read, and always work when you click on them. Basically, you just click on various coloured bars with names such as Announcements, Seminar Information, Mail, Assignments, and Discussion Board.

Once you become familiar with the look of the site and what the tools allow you to do, you will happily click yourself around the ‘classroom’ posting and participating wherever you go. Once you have been officially registered and your seminar is about to begin, the Instructor/Moderator contacts you via e-mail. At that time you will be given instructions on accessing the e-learning website. You will be asked to choose a screen name to use within your virtual ‘classroom’. This will be the only name the other students know you by. You will be given your unique, time sensitive, password. Keep it safe. Passwords will be valid 24/7 during the length of your six or nine-session seminar. As in community-based seminars, you can ask for an extension of a week should that be necessary.

When you enter the secure e-learning website for the first time, you will find personal greetings from the Instructor/Moderator waiting for you in your screen name. You will find instructions on how to complete easy tasks as a way of familiarizing yourself with the tools used to communicate within the seminar ‘classroom’. You will surf around, clicking here and there, receiving more information as you go. The seminar is suitable for all Internet connection types i.e. phone, cable, ADSL or from Internet cafes.

Tell me about the Six-Session Seminar?

Sex is generally a more private activity, thus there are a lot of myths. Together we will defeat the misinformation that may have hurt or mislead you. Isn’t it time to increase your sexual self-esteem? Choosing to strengthen this aspect of you in this seminar will be enjoyable, freeing and empowering.

During the six sessions you can evaluate what exactly your sexual self-esteem is dependent upon. You will explore why or when sex has or is emotionally painful or disappointing. We will consider how levels of sexual self-esteem are influenced by feedback and consequences. Evaluating whether your sexual esteem is unduly influenced by the past or is based on future fears is essential to building and maintaining high sexual self-esteem. Participating in reflective online and offline exercises and activities will foster both learning and unlearning.

The six and nine-session seminars will focus on:
• Exploring and evaluating the origins of your sexual attitudes, values, beliefs, defenses and expectations

• Understanding why high sexual self-esteem must be built on more than having a partner, sex techniques or partner approval

• Increasing your ability to communicate with others about what may previously have been sexually embarrassing, shameful, puzzling, hurtful or confusing

• Strengthening your resolve to act only in sexually satisfying ways to meet your own needs and that of your partner

• Gaining sexual self-esteem, which comes from strength, to assist you in coping well with the variety of sexual challenges that life inevitably brings to us all

• And, of course, learning and unlearning, laughing, perhaps expressing some anger or releasing some tears while we e-learn together

Both seminars will include:  Recommended Reading List,  Virtual Field Trips and/or Community Field Trips.

What’s different about the Nine-Session Seminar?

In addition to the issues covered in the six-session seminar, the nine-session seminar will allow you to:
• Have more input. As you will be in the seminar longer this enables you to participate in the direction of the seminar in general as well as your specific learning. This will facilitate clearing away some of your ‘stuff’ and making room for your sexual self-esteem to grow.

• Participate in a project. You will have the option of participating in a group project or if you prefer you can work on an individual project. You will also be in charge of how much or how little will be shared with the other participants. Ideas for these projects will evolve from the weeks we spend together, our explorations and your individual needs. Your Instructor/Moderator is creative and will be available to support you individually or your small group in choosing a focus for your project.

• Have One to One Time with the Instructor/Moderator,  Early in this seminar the Instructor/Moderators will work with you individually to identify two issues you want to focus on throughout the seminar. Your two issues can, of course, change as you progress through the seminar. You can choose to work on these two issues alongside the Instructor/Moderator.

• Build Stronger Connections Due to the length of the seminar stronger connections will be made with other participants. This will both challenge and support you to make changes. Making Changes, Making New Choices-- The amount of time we spend always plays a role in the process of successful long-term change.

How would I decide which seminar to take?

That’s a good question. After reading about the seminars, as a way to evaluate which seminar is best for you, ask yourself the following questions:

• What type of personal growth and change do I want to make?

• What would I gain by exploring sexual self-esteem topics in more depth?

• Would taking a longer seminar increase my sexual confidence, knowledge base and enhance my sexual self-esteem?

• Would I benefit from spending some private on-line time communicating with the Instructor/Moderator about a situation or a problem relating to my sexual self-esteem?

• How would I benefit from participating longer in specific activities, while remaining connected for a longer time with other women who share similar goals?

• How much time and money do I have to spend?

What is the cost of a seminar?

Option A: Six-Session Seminar -- $150
Option B: Nine-Session Seminar – $225

Will I know when there is new material posted in my seminar?

Yes. Once your enrollment date is confirmed, you will be given the date and time when new material will be released and posted in your virtual ‘classroom’. Having some time in-between sessions allows you to address issues, post your comments in the discussion area, consider the topic of that session or previous sessions, complete class activities, etc. Knowing when new material will be posted gives you the flexibility to participate in the ‘classroom’ on your own schedule.

Will I have any real time communication with the Instructor/Moderator?

Yes. Your Instructor/Moderator will negotiate with the participants of each seminar a specific time to be in the ‘classroom’. This will enable you to communicate with her in real time. She will also check her ‘classroom’ mailbox and respond in a timely fashion.

When could I start and how do I pre-register for a seminar?

You can pre-register today. Seminars start dates are in the drop-down of each registration form.  Remember that with e-learning the ‘class’ starts on the same date, but you participate on the schedule that suits you. You can attend ‘class’ in the wee hours of the morning or during the day. The choice is yours. We are there when you are there.

 Pre-registration:
• Fill out the online Pre-registration Form
• Choose either the six or nine-session seminar.
• Indicate your first and second choices for start dates.

 Enrollment:
Your name will be placed on the seminar list under the start dates you chose. Start dates will be confirmed once the minimum has been reached. A seminar will start with a minimum of six up to a maximum of twelve. You may also be given the option of joining a seminar which is already in progress. Online you never miss a ‘class’ you just join in. You catch up on your schedule. If you prefer, you can wait until the next start date. E-learning is all about flexibility. In community seminars when there are not enough registered participants, a few days before the start date, the seminar is cancelled or postponed for three to six months. This is not the case with e-learning and with our seminars. You could have the flexibility to start a few days before or after our projected dates. To accommodate demand, we have the flexibility of starting either with a slightly smaller or larger class.

When do I pay the seminar fee?

Your seminar fee is due once you have been notified, by e-mail, that your seminar is about to start; registration is now complete. The Instructor/Moderator will contact you for the first time, by e-mail, and ask you about your goals and needs regarding the seminar. You will be given directions on accessing the educational website, asked for your chosen screen name (which can be whatever you choose, it need not be your real first name) and given your password to keep safe.