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Dancing Womyns'Ware Lady for A Day Contest!

The contest is over, thanks to all who entered! Read the winning essays here!

Remember the game show "Queen for A Day"? It's okay if you don't, the fact that some of us do is really dating ... the point is, the show featured five downtrodden housewives (who wasn't a downtrodden housewife back then?) who competed for the chance to be Queen for a Day, living out her fantasies under a different persona. The show offered the saddest case wife and mother an escape from the drudgery of her everyday life and the opportunity to win fabulous household appliances.

Hosted by a former carnival barker, and opening with the barker callout "Do YOU want to be...QUEEN...FOR...A...DAY?", five women from the studio audience would describe their horrid life, naming the very appliance that could set things right. The most tragic woman would be selected by the audience via the 'applause meter' while the other four exited, stage right. In the words of the shows, producer: "Sure 'Queen' was vulgar and sleazy and filled with bathos and bad taste. That was why it was so successful. It was exactly what the general public wanted... We got what we were after. Five thousand Queens got what they were after. And the TV audience cried their eyes out, morbidly delighted to find there were people worse off than they were, and so they got what they were after.": producer Howard Blake in an article for Fact magazine.

We want to resurrect the show concept with an updated, modern, and dare we say it feminist twist. See, at the end of the show, the happy, though tragic housewife would have a crown placed on her head, be draped in a faux-sable trimmed royal robe, and be escorted to a glamorous, Queenly throne while the announcer showed her all the household appliances she'd won. Well, we want you to get a chance to win household appliances of a different, and more useful sort!

Specifically, we want to hear from you, in essay form (details below) - what you would do if given the chance to be the Womyns'Ware Dancing Lady for A Day? We don't want sad, horrid, stories about your possibly miserable existence as the real you. We want glad, celebratory stories about your fabulous existence as the Dancing Lady.

Would you visit your Member of Parliament during Question Period in the House? Run for Parliament as an independent? Go to Wreck Beach and slather on sun screen to protect your purple hue? Host your own game show?

She's been a mascot, a fairground attraction, and a lantern. Now, we want to know, what and who would she be if you were her for a day!

We have three great prizes to give away: Grand Prize is a E-Rose abstract silicone dill from Kinky Cobbler plus Hathor Aphrodesia Lube (8 oz), Second prize is a Delicious abstract silicone dill from Kinky Cobbler plus Hathor Aphrodesia Lube (2 oz), Third prize is a Friend2 abstract silicone dill from Kinky Cobbler plus Hathor Aphrodesia sample pillow pack (0.34 oz). Read the rules before you enter! Special thanks to Kinky Cobbler and Hathor!

How to Enter
1. The contest begins on August 15, 2004 and closes October 15, 2004.
2. Complete the entry form and follow the directions for entry. Only one entry per person will be accepted. To be eligible for the prizes, entries must be received by midnight October 15, 2004. Entries will only be accepted through this Internet form. Essays should be 300-500 words in length.
3. Prizes will be awarded by our judges (who are women with vast Dancing Lady familiarity! The very women who illustrate her, made her mascot outfit, turned her into a lantern, and deal with her in digital form!).
4. Contest is open to North American residents over the age of majority.

Prizes! (from the royal court's servants, Kinky Cobbler, see below!)
1. There will be one (1) grand prize awarded consisting of one (1) E-Rose abstract silicone dill from Kinky Cobbler plus one (1) Hathor Aphrodesia Lube (8 oz), suggested retail value $89.70 (Canadian Funds).
2. There will be one (1) second prize awarded consisting of one (1) Delicious abstract silicone dill from Kinky Cobbler plus one (1) Hathor Aphrodesia Lube (2 oz), suggested retail value $74.70 (Canadian Funds).
3. There will be one (1) third prize awarded consisting of one (1) Friend2 abstract silicone dill from Kinky Cobbler plus one (1) Hathor Aphrodesia sample pillow pack (0.34 oz), suggested retail value $51.35 (Canadian Funds).

The odds of winning the prizes are dependent on the number of eligible entries received.

General Rules
Womyns'Ware Inc., a corporation incorporated under the laws of the Province of British Columbia hereinafter called Sponsor, is entitled to modify the Terms at any time. Sponsor is also entitled to discontinue or revise any or all aspects of the Site or Contest itself, at its sole discretion and without prior notice. 1. Only North American residents above the age of majority, are eligible to claim prizes.
2. All submissions become the sole property of the Sponsor and shall not be returned. By entering you give sponsor permission to publish your essay entry without further consideration. All entries must contain valid information for prizes to be claimed. Sponsor will not be responsible for entries that are incomplete, or incorrect. Contestants must be able to produce valid photo I.D. to claim prizes should it be requested.
3. By entering, the contestants agree to abide by the contest rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final.
4. Contestants are only eligible to win one prize. Prize winners will be responsible for any excise tax that applies in their country of origin but Sponsor will pay to ship the prizes to winners.
5. The Sponsor will not be responsible for entries affected by Internet connection problems or errors in the client or server application. All decisions of the Sponsor regarding essay judging will be final.
6. The Sponsor will not engage in any correspondence, except with the prize winners. The prize winners will be contacted by e-mail concerning the awarding or prizes. Please allow 12-16 weeks for delivery of prizes.
7. The prizes are not transferable, they must be accepted as awarded and are not convertible to cash. The Sponsor reserves the right to substitute a prize of equivalent kind and value without prior notification if, due to reasons out of the Sponsors control, the original prize is not available.
8. This Site and Contest are provided on an "as is" basis. The Sponsor and their agents are not responsible for printing, distribution or production errors and, subject to any required government consent, at their discretion, the Sponsor may terminate the contest at any time, without liability or notice if such errors occur.
9. In order to receive their prizes, the winners must be willing sign a document consenting to use of their names, addresses and photographs for publicity purposes, without further compensation, and releasing and indemnifying the Sponsor, their affiliates, advertising & promotion agencies and retail distributors from any liability occurring as a result of the prizes being awarded.
10. The contest is subject to all applicable federal, state, provincial, municipal and local laws and regulations.
11. Sponsor makes no warranties, explicit or implied regarding the security of the Site or the Contest or any damages resulting from the transmission of any computer program or other information via the Site or from any unauthorized use of the Site or Contest.
12. No material from the Site or Contest, including- without limitation- any logos and text, may be copied , or reproduced in any way. Modification of the materials or use of the materials for any other purpose is a violation of the Sponsors copyright and other proprietary rights.

Copyright (c)2004 Womyns'Ware Inc.. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Our Privacy Policy
Womyns'Ware Inc. guarantees that your confidentiality is absolute. Not only will we not share your information, we don't even compile internal data bases. As consumers, we've always hated the intrusiveness of unsolicited mailings and cold phone calls so we're not about to impose this on our own customers. Now, customers can expect (and seek recourse if their rights are violated) better privacy protection from all Canada-based companies. New federal legislation was enacted on January 1, 2001 when the Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act came into effect. This legislation offers substantial protection to consumers doing business with Canadian based businesses. As customers are probably only too well aware, businesses routinely compile mailing lists, create customer profiles, and sell information regarding customers. This will no longer be the case in Canada as the new legislation will impose strict principles of consumer privacy protection and subject businesses that violate the legislation to steep fines. Of interest to our internet customers will be the provisions requiring businesses to designate at least one staff person as accountable for compliance with the legislation. From now on, businesses must tell customers why they want personal information (i.e., for special discounts, mailing lists, shipping info, or database) prior to asking for the information. More importantly, businesses can only ask for information that directly relates to the stated purpose (i.e., you don't need to know gender if the purpose is to gather shipping info). Businesses can no longer use data gathered for one purpose for a later purpose. They have to get consumer permission all over again. Trading customer lists is strictly prohibited. To find out more about this legislation, contact www.privcom.gc.ca. Know your consumer privacy rights and demand that companies honour them!