Shopping Cart

Lubricating Liberties: No Lube In Prison

I'm the newbie Woman of Womyns'Ware around here and on my desk is a letter including a couple of lube samples that have been returned to us via The U.S. Department of Justice, Federal Bureau of Prisons. It turns out that a while back we were asked to send some lube samples in response to an ad that we placed in the New Yorker. The samples were sent to an inmate of the Federal Correctional Institute in Wasec, MN.

An aside: we were sending them to an address without knowledge of the recipient's incarceration so this outcome became even more intriguing, as events unfolded ...

Okay. You're in prison, not getting any or getting some and it's a little rougher than you'd like. Maybe it's even a little less consensual than you'd like! Lube seems like a reasonable request.

Apparently not. The samples got sent back to us with a very official document attached outlining what the Federal Bureau of Prisons deems unauthorized materials. These materials include:

(1) Human Hair. Okay, human hair was apparently used in an escape from Alcatraz... human hair glued to dummies making it harder to detect who is and isn't in their beds at night. Or... human hair shavings glued to ones face as a disguise. We get it!

(2) Plant Shavings. "Is it oregano or is it...?" Yeah... we get it. Plant shavings can be turned into alcohol or other narcotic substances if you know what you are doing.

(3) Sexually Explicit Personal Photos. Well, I guess under certain circumstances that could get messy. I have to think that more often than not the photos are pretty harmless...but in the interest of protecting the innocent or discouraging Prison "currency" - the guy with the most porn to trade has a decided economic advantage over his cohorts, Okay.

(4) Other: an open category where one finds the notation "Two Packets of sexual Lubricant." Well, I DON'T get it? In the immortal words of Ernie or Bert "One of these things is not like the other. One of these things is not quite the same" (come on...sing it with me!)

The first three materials have potential downfalls to maintaining safety and order in a prison environment. We fail to see where the lube fits into this.

Could the inmates cover themselves in lube and try sliding through the bars in an attempt to escape? (one of our sales reps pondered). Um ... that's stretching it. And besides, other than the Porn materials, we couldn't really see any use for the other materials listed that could legitimately be a necessity in prison life. As in, could these items contribute to maintaining safety and order in a prison environment? To the lube, we say: Yes! Lube could be a good thing. It could reduce some of the friction experienced in Prison life.

Masturbation is a common activity, even more so for the bored and lonely... it takes the edge off and can create a calming effect. A little lube can make for an effortless rub.

If someone discovers that they have been selected to be another's "butt buddy", willing or unwilling, the lube would only help to reduce anal tearing and therefore reduce the risk of STD transmissions. This has got to be a good thing, as A.I.D.S. is rampant in the Prison System. I'm pretty sure that the laws re. incarceration do not include signing away your right to protect yourself from physical harm.

Hey! Federal Bureau of Prisons Guys! Loosen up already! Sex does and will continue to happen in prison. Lube or no lube. Face the facts and do your part in supporting the Safer Sex Movement and allow Lube in Prison. You are, after all, responsible for the delivery of Justice in the U.S. aren't you?


Womyns'Ware Inc. (Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada)