We think of our bondage gear category as a kind of “Play Land”. The concept is that BDSM play is at its basis, playful! Why play? Why not? Why add salt? Why put cream in your coffee? Why try Ethiopian cuisine? Because it is available and it offers some potentially nourishing and tasty results!
Who plays? People who play are people who want to continue to learn and enjoy. People who are not satisfied with potatoes as a side dish for the rest of their lives. How serious do they need to be? Not very and maybe super serious! They need to be serious about the intent. Seriously connected to the idea that they want to explore but not so serious that they suffer great disappointment if they did not enjoy their first ride! A player needs to be open to discover what they enjoy and what they do not enjoy and they need to realize that their experience is unique to them.
Oft said, but worth repeating, the key to all fantasy play is “safe, sane, and consensual”. In simple translation, this means use proper equipment and safe sex practices, arm yourself with knowledge, play sober, communicate with your partner, and make sure that everyone is doing exactly what they want and no one is playing against their wishes. Talk about your fantasy ahead of time. Set parameters for what you want and what you don’t want. Establish a “safe word” that tells your partner to ease-up or stop. Ensure that everyone is playing within their personal boundaries. Don’t do anything that you can’t do right and don’t exaggerate your experience. Once everyone is ready to play, let your fantasies loose and go for it!
Percussion: At first using a flogger, crop or paddle may seem as out of place in your bedroom as lubricant or restraints did at one time—or like hot sauce on your eggs and toast did back in the day— but you just never know until you try! A key element that takes place during impact sensation play is the “seducing of the endorphins”… working with the body to release endorphins so that the “high” they produce can be enjoyed. In sum, the goal of tools like floggers, crops and paddles is to say “Oooh” not “Ow”, leaving your senses heightened for hours after play. The accessories we carry are designed with safe use in mind. Sure, a wooden spoon might work in a pinch, but our softer, more flexible handcrafted leather wares feature a little more give and offer the user more control.
One note with product measurements: most of these are handcrafted which means some slight variation from time to time. Being artisan work, each piece is unique.
Floggers are finely crafted tools with heavy long flat broad tails, designed to produce pleasur- able sensations, usually on the shoulders and buttocks. The sensation for the “floggee” is much like a shiatsu massage. Our floggers look dramatic and will stand up to heavy use. The heavier floggers have balanced handles for comfortable tail landings. Traditional leather floggers are the most versatile. All of our leather floggers are handcrafted. Floggers vary in overall length and number of tails. Shorter tails are easier to control if you have a shorter reach (length of arm). They also require less room to swing. If you will be using your flogger in a small area this is important. Generally, the higher the number of tails, the more controlled the landing. Heavy, well-weighted tails tend not to splay where you didn’t intend them to land.
Sensory Deprivation: Once you’re all tied up, then what are you going to do? We think that this is the perfect time to experiment with heightened sensation since the dampening of any one sense will enhance another (and enhancement is what we’re all about here)! Just as in your everyday sex play things will be different each time — sometimes it’s a go and other times not so much — when you add unfamiliar sounds, temperatures, areas of stimulation or types of stimulation you get something entirely different each time you play. That’s “Sensational”! One of the ways to experiment with this technique is to take away one of the senses so that the others take over. Take sight or vocalization, as two examples. Wearing a gag is a license to howl your fool head off. It’s as if covering your mouth means you can howl like you’ve never allowed yourself to howl before. Having something to chomp into can really inspire a person to roar their pleasure. Cover your eyes with a blindfold, not only can you not see what is going to happen next, leaving you with tingly excitement wondering what’s up, but all your senses are heightened as they take over for your eyes. You can smell your partner near you. You can hear your breathing and heartbeat, and every little touch sends shivers up your body. Not seeing your partner often alleviates self-consciousness in ways you wouldn’t experience if you were being “seen”.
Restraints: Restraining (tying your partner up) or being restrained (being tied down) is a good groundbreaker BDSM activity. Tying someone up can be fun, works well with two or a crowd and it’s gender neutral! Everyone can play! If you’ve been in a relationship for some time, sex play can become predictable – break out of that predictable rut by adding a twist (tie) to your games.
Why tie up? If you are playing by restraining you are accepting responsibility to provide all of the pleasure! It’s akin to creating unrestricted access to your partner’s playground! You and your partner have agreed that it’s your turn to “do the work” while your counterpart lounges around with hands and/or legs tied aside to make for a sensual feast! For the mobile partner it is an honour and a challenge to have so much access! You’ve been given an opportunity to provide your partner with complete attention without interruption.
Why be tied down? The lounger is having their vulnerable bits offered up to a trusted soul for pleasuring while their ability to respond by touch or movement is reduced. This amounts to a free license to lay back and enjoy the attention without the subconscious obligation to reciprocate (“What could I do? I was all tied-up!”). Playing against your restraints can be a real turn-on in itself. Throw self- consciousness to the wind and allow your body to “resist” the attention that you are receiving. Further, the trust that this involves is part of the play … nothing like letting go to create some sexual tension! Imagine the difference to oral sex!
So, we’ve convinced you that restraints can be sexy and fun, now what? Well, unless you’ve achieved the highest ranking in scouts or are a merchant marine, we encourage you to consider purpose-designed restraints as a safe alternative to “household” items like rope or scarves.
